Thursday, September 08, 2005

Santa Fe, New Mexico Premiere of Why Get Married?

September 6 Screening in Santa Fe

I am learning that each audience and each audience's reaction to this documentary is VERY different, and yet equally dynamic. After the Q and A of this screening, I did feel a bit churned up. Certainly the personal nature of some of the questions can be challenging, and I guess, for some reason that night I wasn't totally ready. The discussion was lively, and many long-time single women approached me to say seeing this documentary offered them comfort and some real "gems" to ponder. I guess we never know how our work will affect another.

The following day of the screening, I received this email:

"I was there last night and utterly enjoyed your film. RE: questions and answers section, I want to tell you how much I admired your courage and honesty in being both humorous, forthright about the deep waters of the personal aspect of the film for you, and not defensive about feedback. I do think you looked a little uncomfortable in your shots and that's okay. Some of your buddies seemed to leap to your defense when someone mentioned you looked uncomfortable. So what? the glory of being human is to reveal all facets. Good for you!!! I wish you all success.
Linda "

I have never considered myself courageous in wrestling with this title and project, yet I appreciate her words A LOT and am considering them. It just seemed important to explore this question.
And I WAS uncomfortable in my on-camera interview. Yet we used most of the shots for the voice over in which I speak of the pain of divorce, both my own and my parents. For me, that is painful. I figured my lack of comfort was candid, real and maybe even uncomfortable to watch. For me, it is fitting based on how divorce has felt to me. But it isn't a usual visual to choose I know.
I was resistant to being in this documentary, hoping I'd be able to have the story follow someone else. Yet as the edit deadline approached, it became clear I needed to insert myself as a way to help the 30 conversations hang together. Actually the number of times I tried not to carry on with this project after one set back or another, somehow it always came to the forefront again, begging to be finished.

And it isn't finished. This is just the beginning, as many audience members keep saying. My part of the Why Get Married? question feels finished for me. BUT there are a million voices and stories to hear, all around the world. And those are conversations I really want to have.